Sunday, August 30, 2009

Just a Thought For Today

Sometimes when you don’t know where to turn you have to turn to what you know. I know my chair my records my music the only problem is when the songs over your right back to where you stared.

Monday, August 24, 2009

On the flip side of the Streets (Enigma)

Just to let everyone know, I'm no fan of dance music at all. I generally find this type of music to get on my nerves. I like Reggae, Yes, ELP, Hip Hop, Pop type of stuff, so Enigma should be totally out of my league, but then why on Earth do I love it? Because it has some of the most creepy atmosphere I have ever heard on any album. The idea of blending a genre I can't stand (dance) with a very gloomy electronic ambiance, Gregorian chanting and odd electronic flutes actually turned out to be quite appealing. I bought this in 1991, so I was more or less there from the beginning and I was not one bit disappointed. Those Gregorian chants are real (I heard those chants on some TV documentary without the Enigma beats). The first time I became aware of Enigma was seeing a video to "Sadness" in November 1990, about three months before the American release of MCMXC a.D. and from just hearing that, I knew I had to get the album once it became easily available. This album is sure not perfect. The dance beats do get very samey and it does sound quite homogeneous, but the very creepy and gloomy atmosphere makes up for this album's shortcomings. I have heard the next two Enigma releases, but I was not as impressed. The Cross of Changes finds them being more diverse, but the gloomy atmosphere was gone, replaced by the occasional sickeningly sweet New Age . For those people who understand and appreciate the power of music to enhance mood, this release is an experience in sensuality. Layered with religious symbolism, lush female vocals, spoken word (often in French), sounds from nature, and sensual beats, Enigma takes the listener (or listeners, as this release is also enjoyable with a companion) on a journey of self actualization, inner peace, and outward passion.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

"Precious" Release Date

Yay me, I just found out the release date for "Precious": Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire in theaters November 12. 2009.

NYC please don't go Black again *crossing fingers*

Pedestrians clogged the Brooklyn Bridge as the power outage brought life to a standstill. Exactly 6 year and four day ago NYC had the Blackout it was a scary day. I was working as a receptionist In Midtown Manhattan. I had left work exactly one hour before things got hectic. I remember my mom telling me she had to walk like 15 miles to get home. She didn't reach home until 10 pm that night. A lot of people had no idea what was going on that evening. It started at 4pm Friday. The lights and power was not restored until 1pm the following day. Stores were locking there shit up in fair of looters.
This is what happened in 1977 In Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant looters acted swiftly as store alarms were silenced by the power cutoff.
In 2003 Things were bad aslo it was the hottest month of the summer a lot of businesses lost money due to products going bad. Wow it was crazy. Commuters sleep on the steps of the Post Office on 33rd Street and Eighth Avenue in New York during the early hours of Friday, after being stranded by the city's electrical blackout. A huge power failure swept through parts of the Northeast, Midwest and Canada on Thursday, shutting down trains, subways and airports from New York City to Detroit, forcing people into the streets. At the ferry terminal on west 38th St., thousands of people without access to the subways and trains flocked to catch ferries, creating another form of gridlock. Passengers on the downtown A train were stuck underground for two hours before being led out by MTA employees. The blackout incident just clicked in my mind because last night I was sitting in my living room and I heard this loud BOOM sound. I looked out the window and I saw some smoke coming from the ground, I thought a car back fired that always happens no biggie. Well that wasn't the case about 15 minutes later there was 3 firetrucks outside my window. I didn't go down stairs to find out what was going on but they did there expecting and about 1 hour after they left a whole crew of Con Edison trucks was down stairs. I knew it was something bad. I was just praying that our light or power would go out. Con Ed have been outside all day all night when I came home today they were still there. Today was one of the hottest days in Brooklyn N.Y I need my AC and I need my power I hope they can fix everything without knocking out our electricity. Shoot, besides I pay to much taxes on my Con Ed bill for them to be messing up you know what am saying. I just spoke to my neighbor down stairs and she told me they called here earlier today and told her to unplug her AC, turn off the TV, and keep her doors closed am like WTH. They also said they will call here and tell here when she can turn it all back on. They haven't called me yet and we live in the same building. My neighbor is a hotmess to, because they told her all that and she didn't turn off a thing she said I need my air shit, it hot LOL what a mess. Well I hope everything works out, out there dam Con ED. Put our tax dollars to work and get it together.

Monday, August 17, 2009

My Insomnia Free Weekend.

My weekend turned out to be fairly decent. Saturday started of pretty slow I didn't expect to go know where when I woke up that morning, but I got a phone call at 3pm from my crazy cousin telling me to come to Chucky Cheese to celebrate her youngest daughters birthday party. I would have went but she waited until 2 hours before she was ready to leave, to invite me out. A bitch like me is not good with last minute invites. I told her I may not be able to make it. Then she tells me that she will be having a get together in her basement after Chucky Cheese around 7pm So I said cool I can do that. I called my friend up to see if she would come with me and bring the kiddies( she has 4) she bailed on me, because it was last minute. I don't blame her. Well I went out & I had a blast with the little ones. They made me wish I was 3 or 4 years old again. They are so innocent and care free lol. After they cut the cake and everybody ate, I poured me a cup of Hennessy. I have not drank in 4 years so that thing went straight to my head. The party was over at 1am. I made my doggy bag and brought my tipsy behind home. I didn't have no case of Insomnia that night lol. And Sunday was my lazy day, I chillaxed on my couch all day. That's was my weekend in a nutshell. Have a lovely week everybody, Know that somebody Loves you ---{--@

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Men do the funniest things, Here's an example of one.

This is to funny to me.Sorry Dave i had to put you on blast. My friend is a single parent, he calls me up and says, "Nessa something is wrong with this ground beef," so I say "what happen to it?" He says, "it's slimy" I said 'well throw it out. I asked him "did you buy it like that?" " He said "no" then he continues to say "all I did was wash it." ~Blank Stare~ I was cracking up. I said "Dave you don't have to wash ground beef babe." LMAO. He says Oh! hey i guess we have to live and learn . Still LOL.

Friday, August 14, 2009

FOX Reality TV House husbands of Hollywood

The Cosby's kid is back on T.V. About 2 days ago I was watching The Cosby show on TVLand with my son, I was wondering what ever happened to Vanessa. Beginning Aug. 15, former 'Cosby Show' and 'A Different World' stars Tempestt Bledsoe and Darryl M. Bell will be featured in the network's all-new reality series, 'House husbands of Hollywood.'

Thursday, August 13, 2009

United We Stand (So they say)

Urrgggh... Back in the days that symbol to the left (in some cases to the right:) was the most secure position one can hold in the government. (paid vacation, benefits, sick days annual leave etc..) No Caucasian men or women wanted this job back then either because it consist of "hard labor". Since early this year when the recession started hitting hard, there have been more Caucasian applying for a spot in the Postal Service than any other race. Things that make me go humm.. I know why they want in. It's because a lot of the office jobs have been given them pink slips, and only government jobs are secure right now well so they say I know different because i have worked there over 4 years now and even tho that is not very long it's long enough to know that things are getting bad it the postal service department. I love my job and I would not want to work anywhere else. But as of lately every time I see that damn eagle on the side of the trucks I want to shoot it. (LOL) It's not the job that is bad it's the people that works at the job that makes the job bad. Yeah I had a bad day, but am home now I just had to get that out. Have a lovely evening everyone----{--@ Photobucket

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Here We Go Again

I thought I was going to get a break today, to my surprise starting from 4am-5pm I received a total of seventy five (75) calls from, yes you guessed it "The Psycho". She is so immature for here age. Today I pinched her nerve (fuck it I was bored myself) I mentioned her ghetto children names Papoose and Gizmo. Isn't Gizmo the head gremlin from the movie "Gremlins". Lawrd please forgive me. LOL So she goes off telling me "I guess he (My sons father) didn't tell you, am Bipolar from the stroller." I wanted to laugh so hard when I heard that am wondering if she trying to get a record deal over the phone jack, she is so lame. 30 years old 2 kids and this is how she acts. Some women need to start off with animals (cats dogs, birds etc...) before they go having children. I am sorry to say this but I pity her children. I real do, pure soul. Any who have a lovely weekend and know that somebody loves you all!!!

Friday, August 7, 2009

I don't want Cool Fool!

Have a great weekend. The summer is coming to a end, I didn't go to Maui this summer. Maybe it's would be better to go there in the winter. I think the climate stays the same all year round in Hawaii because there across the equator. They have a beach in Hawaii, called the Black Sand beach, It is beautiful. Black sand beach in Maui, Hawaii. Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Villa in Hawaii Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Did you go on vacation this summer? If so do tell. Know that someone Loves you.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Emotional Blowout

The wicked witch a.k.a, (the 30 yr old Physco) keeps calling all night, early in the morning, she woke me up yesterday morning and for work this morning. Kudos for my knew alarm clock. I am not going to waste this post on her. I am confining in my blog about this "emotional blowout" that am going threw. I don't know how much more I can take, i'll tell you a little bit about it. At the end of 2007 I met this nice guy at my job. We started dating,and one thing lead to another now were living together. The stressful part of this relationship is that I was living by myself when I met my boyfriend. He was living with a women that hehas been going out with for TWENTY (20) years. He kept telling me that the relationship is no good, the relationship is dying, yadda yadda yay. It is now August 2009 all that has changed is that he lives here with me now. But there is a twist to that also.
Are you ready, Hold on here we go;
Scenario #1 My man is approximately 32 years older than me. The house that he and the women lives in is "HIS" house but he's not paying mortgage or any bills there (anymore). The women that lives there takes care of everything. He says the house is in forecloser and he's letting her stay there until she finds somewhere to go ~blank stare~ He has very few clothes here, all his mail still goes to the house he lives in with her. Scenario #2 On July 22 he said he was going to be late he had to go put in a ceiling fan for a co-worker. My insecurity came out and I asked him are you sure your not going to your womans house . He said Vanessa (that's me) you know I have no reason to lie to you. I took his word for it everything went all good he came home we made love that night . Cool. Scenario #3 The next morning he wakes up for work we speak, joke around, drank a cup of coofee together he leaves out at 6am. He usually calls me 4 times a day the least I didn't get one call from him. Around the time he would be on break I called him he didn't answer his phone. Fine, I called backed maybe twice between then and the time he gets off of work which is at 3:30pm, No answer. It's 5pm way after the time he should be home and he still haven't called 7pm I start to get worried am wondering the worst @ this point, what if he got into a car accident because it's not the norm for him to stay out without calling. I call a supervisor at the plant that he hangs out with and ask him if he seen him today, he says yes. Now my nerves has went back down because at least I know he's not hurt. So I wait, I wait, I wait, I keep calling, calling, calling no answer it's now 2am in the morning and am piss. This man did not call until 10am the next morning and he tells me that he's not ready talk but he needed a break and how he left Glenda (the 20 yr relationship), the house and me. He just needed to get away. Am like WTF. How easy was that, if I was to run away ever time that a problem aroused in my life, boy I would be one effed up individual. Here I am feeling dumb, stupid and lonely. The saga continues he doesn't call me for 3 days straight and does not answer any of my e-mails. One day I was calling him he tells me hes in N.C he's doing fine and it will be a while before he returns to me because he's going to Atlanta after he leaves there. I was boiling inside. I put in so much time and effort into this man. I have been in my apartment for only 5 months by myself, (just got out of an abusive relationship) before he stepped into my life he was all I knew. At least that's how I felt. As the days went by he started calling at least once a day and he was answering my calls again. He told me a week before he came back that he retired from his job at the Post Office I was in total shock. Well long story short he got back last night. But the twist is he is back to playing both sides of the field and am beginning to think I should have just dealt with the pain and let him GO. Last night he went to his house first, (that's where his women resides). He says there is no relationship there but he lets her live there. From my personal experience if a man don't want to be with you any more there's no way in hell he gonna let you live up in his house, mind you there not married and there are no kids involved. When he gets in my apartment last night, he is telling me that his brother is having a surprise retirement party and his sister niece and brother are coming from North Carolina, Virgina, and Upstate NY to stay at his house ~blank Stare~ Just a year ago he was telling me how much his sister and Glenda the women in the house don't like each other now all of a sudden they having a fucking family reunion. LOL life is grand isn't it. He says O don't worry I'll be here with you please don't stress me out just let me handle this I got this. I am so fucking hurt right now for multiple reasons. One is because we have been seeing each other for almost 2 years No one in his family knows about me his sister seen me once and I was introduced as "a friend", this time last year he had to go upstate by his sister house to fix his car insurance. He was telling his sister he may bring somebody, his sister jumps and say who Glenda. This is after she meet me apparently I am not seen as a women of his. I am so confused right now. I know how mad I am by my actions I had a bottle of sparkling wine in my fridge since New Years eve, I haven't drank it because I have stopped drinking for over 3 years now. I popped that shit open last night lol. Matter a fact am going to pour me a glass right now before I proof read and post this blog:) Have a great night everyone Know that someone loves you, and yes I am taking note! Somebody loves me I just haven't found out who lol. Night!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stories of my Life...

She's at it again, the 30 years old Physco. This morning I let the answering machine pick up one of her many calls and she leave a lame ass message saying she is looking for Denise (mine you her name is Deniece), he gave her my number. Yeah right. Not only is she lame but she is a liar to. This stated at 6 o'clock this morning (mind you I went to bed after 4 this morning) and I just received another call at 8:16am. What a way to start my day off. I am on my 3rd cup of coffee you want one (lol) Have a lovely day and know that someone loves you.

What Does that tells You?

Well I said my prayers tonight, I dosed off for about an hour and I was wide awake again. Am watching American Pie: Band Camp in hopes of falling asleep, but in reality I am wide awake and worried. I am worried because at 11am Monday morning my mom called and told me she was in the ER. I was aware of the fact that she was going to the doctor Monday morning, but I wasn't expecting her to go to the hospital. My mom have had a chronic cough for years now and it's not getting any better most people will notice the severity of the cough and seek medical help, but no not my mom. She waits until the last minute when it comes to her health. Her excuse is "I don't like doctors". About 3 months ago she was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with Triple Pneumonia. That type of pneumonia is so rear in the states that the doctor had to ask her if she left the state recently. Now again, this morning it seem that her cough was so sever that the doctor sent her to the hospital to get some test done. At 3pm she called and told me that there keeping her overnight. That's is not the type of news I wanted to here. As I lay here in bed right now I can't stop thinking about her. I wish she would take her health more serious at times. Me and my mother DO NOT have the best relationship but I do Love her. She is a grown women why should I her daughter have to scold her on something that is so important I just don't know sometimes. I said a prayer for her, I just hope she will be OK.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Nothin's ever promised tomorrow, today

Did it ever cross your mind that "they" put them lottery tickets here just to tease us!? My boyfriend spends money every single day playing lottery. Granted he has hit a few times in the past, the most 5G's. But I find it so weird how much money one person can spend on Lottery in a year. Lottery is like an addiction, I remember one time my man and I was taking a road trip to VA(Virgina) and he didn't get to play his numbers at the local store, so right before he got on the highway he starts panicking looking for a lottery store. It was so funny but in all actually it's not because he was coming off like a feen. I had to ask him; are you going to die if you don't get these mid-day numbers in.(lol) His lottery playing, is like clock work. In NY you have to get mid day numbers no later that1pm and the evening numbers by 7pm. So if we decide to sleep in late on Sunday he pops up by 11am and runs to the store to get his numbers in and same thing in the evening. Sometimes I just look at him and shake my head. He's addicted and he knows it! He went to Atlanta last week on vacation he called me this morning and he says,he hasn't been playing lotto, in the same breathe he turns and says he might go out and play a few numbers today SMDH...

The case of the 30 Year old Psycho

No the title is not referring to me :-) This is just a way for me to clear my mind. I was up last night messing around here on Blogger, I decided to sign off a little after 4am, I settled in my bed around 5am. My phone starts to ring the person hangs up. I have caller ID but at that time in the morning I wasn't calling anybody back, I figured it might be someone coming in from a party and might have called the wrong number. At 6am my phone rings again same number, same thing they hang up, at 7 am same thing at, 9 am same thing. So I came to the conclusion It was my sons father Ex-girlfriend. This girl/lady has be harassing me since late last year I'll tell you why. Early last year my son was spending the weekend by his fathers house. I called my son father cell phone to speak to my son. When I called a girl answered the phone at this time my sons father and this girl were supposedly separated. I found it strange that she was answering his phone. She starts asking me "why am I calling him", in total shock I actually answered her and told her I was calling to speak to my son. Well long story short she said he wasn't there, I said OK and hung up. From that day on this girl has been calling me seven times a day from morning to night *sick* The story behind this which I didn't find out until 4 months later is that, my Sons father was working at DHL and he had his uniform at her house he tried to retrieve it one night to go to work and she refused to give it to him. One weekend while my son was there she came over to his mother's house put the clothes in front of his mothers door steps and set the shit on fire.
~Blank Stare~
If that is not some sick shit I just don't know. From that day on it has been a disaster, she started stalking him, and just doing the most spiteful things you can think of. Remember I was telling you that she answered his phone , well it wasn't that he let her hold his phone, this Phsyco bitch forward all his calls to her phone,
~Blank Stare again~
Nobody on that side of the family told me this until 6 months after the fact. To top it all off I had to find out from his mother because anytime I asked him about it he would jump on the defense and get all upset. That make both of them sick. So now for 1 WHOLE YEAR this chick has been calling me almost everyday. 4 months ago she slowed down with the phone calls. The strange thing is that every time my son goes by his grandmother (the fathers mother) his ex-girlfriend calls. That tells me that he (my sons father) is still keeping in contact with this Physco. To wrap this all up am going to be the bigger women and keep ignoring her because people like that they feed off your anger and she is not worth my time. Love is Love Know that somebody Loves you ---{--@

Saturday, August 1, 2009


I recently started suffering with Insomnia this year. It has been kicking my ass, most days I go to bed at 7am and wake up buy 12pm and stay up until 7am the next morning. I don't know what is happening. Maybe stress, the relationship, am just not feeling like myself. It's amazing how things can change when one is not happy with themselves. Know that somebody loves you ---{--@

"Judgmental Bloggers" Part II

I want to touch this topic again because I felt like I generalized the word "Judgmental". In this day and age people judge everything and everyone, I don't think it's necessary to judge. As Gods children we all were created different, no man or women thinks the same. My favorite saying in life is "Only God Can Judge me", and I think that's the realist shit I have ever heard. Judging whether someone is right or wrong, bad or good is the type of judging that is unnecessary by us. Judging should also not be confused with opinions. Opinions is something that everyone is entitled to have. Right or wrong? To clear the air according to Wikipedia Judgmental: Generally refers to the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision. Opinion: Is a belief that may or may not be backed up with evidence, but which cannot be proved with that evidence. It is normally a subjective statement and may be the result of an emotion or an interpretation of facts; people may draw opposing opinions from the same facts. In my humble opinion I think we the people should keep it at opinions, and stop Judging each other.

Look at the nation,

Look at the nation,
that's a crooked smile braces couldn't even straighten!