Friday, March 25, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor Showed Up 15 Minutes Late to Her Own Funeral R.I.P

Taylor left specific instructions that she wanted to "be late for her own funeral, a family rep said.

You've got to hand it to that old ball-buster, Liz Taylor she knew how to make an entrance She was a Hollywood original to the end. Elizabeth Taylor was laid to rest Thursday at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, Calif., in a small, private funeral attended by friends and family Taylor's casket was closed and draped with gardenias, violets, and lily of the valley. She was interred in The Great Mausoleum, the same resting place for her longtime friend Michael Jackson.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Super Full Moon

for the first time since 1993, the Moon is going to be full tonight  at almost the exact same time it's closest to earth. So if you've got livestock you need to sacrifice, now's the time to do it! The Moon will be less than one hour away from perigree (the fancy science word for "point on the Moon's elliptical orbit at which it's closest to earth") tonight the same day that a Full Moon is scheduled (on God's calendar). This means it'll be 14 percent larger than usual! Or, at least, it'll appear 14 percent larger than normal, since the Moon does not, according to scientists, change size. This happens once every "18 years or so," so the next time you get a perigree Full Moon, Justin Bieber will be in his mid-30s.

According to NASA, your best bet is to find the Moon when it's close to the horizon, and look at it through a foreground object, like a tree, triggering an optical illusion called, imaginatively, the "Moon illusion" that will make it appear huge, and compel you to mate, or whatever.

Look at the nation,

Look at the nation,
that's a crooked smile braces couldn't even straighten!